Yesterday, as I walked into my room. Ready for a good night's sleep, I looked into the box of my loyal pet cockroach, Ben. The bread looked okay. He looked okay. The small mandarin inside was...covered in a glu-tack looking substance except it was aqua-ish and.....I knew mould.
"UH-OH!!!" I thought in my head. My awesomely shaped head. Not the head on my penis, although that too is awesomely shaped. Is it? I don't know. I don't look at many penis heads. And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to tell which ones are awesome. I mean, what's the criteria? If I saw a tetrahedral penis-head with like full on edges and all I would be like THAT is awesome. But what IS the criteria? Easy to aim with? Easy to pleasure others with? Conveniently sized. Common shape. Uncommon shape. It's not often I think about these things (just kidding, it's often). But yeah. Anyway, after thinking "UH-OH!!!" I went downstairs and then went outside to open the box lid (mould and all).
Placing a sandwich/freezer bag (those smallish plastic bags) around my hand I picked up Ben and then turned the bag inside out so I didn't have to touch Ben's skin.
I placed the lid back on, chucked the whole box into the bin, washed my hands and then put the freezer bag in my room with the entrance covered with a book. Contrary to the title of this post, Ben's new home isn't done yet. (or started) So right now as I type this my pet cockroach, Ben, is in my room.
Cockroaches are awesome. :D You should get one too.
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Excuse you Mr Jonathanc4,
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog ever since you have created it. and I for one as a Muslim, was and still is offended by your second paragraph. Your mind is filthy and what you think is "Cool and Funny" is not; in the real world. So please get this in your mind Jon. You are an attention seeking son of a bitch who deserves no love from any human being.
Furious,
Maleek Al Saif.